The Pathetic Trainer

It’s been almost six months since I started this new job at the maternity hospital. So much to tell, with so little time available. It is this fact, the lack of time available for reading/writing/having fun, that is haunting me. I’m afraid I’m turning into a character I’ve been despising for years, that is, an individual running on money, just like how a car runs on gas.

It’s surprisingly thought provoking when I recall the time I used to work in Biomedical Engineering, going hand in hand with this trainer whose morals were curiously questioned, and the overflowing enthusiasm I had back then. Back then, I always wanted to do the best I can, learn the best I can, and help as many people as I can. And here comes the funny part: I did not take a single penny. I somehow had the power and will to work overtime, help this and help that, all for the sake of, what exactly? I don’t know. Professionalism maybe? Conscience? Good will?

But that doesn’t matter. What matters is the powerful dedication that I had during these months as a Biomedical Engineer, that came to fade the moment I started working in return for a salary. Something happened, deep down inside, the moment I received my first salary in my hands from our financial manager. What happened exactly? I have no idea, but I have some clues to work on.

My dedication for work began to change its skin, little by little, gradually turning into a dedication for money. I’ve become motivated to do this and do that only if a material return is promised. The thought of helping someone with a job is slowly being haunted by the thought:

If you're good at something, never do it for free!

My interest in doing the things that I love is deliberately coming to a halt. I rarely play my guitar nowadays, I never open my reader to read what my fellow bloggers have to say. Even Facebook, the one tool that I use to interact with my old school friends, is being affected and slowly becoming an occasional thing.

All of a sudden, I find myself in this trainer’s shoes. I remember the times he used to rest, counting remaining hours/minutes/seconds to go home with a day’s money he did not work for. All I thought of back then was; What is wrong with this guy? Why is he acting so pathetically, carelessly not worrying about his duties, and just waiting for the end of the month to receive his salary? And before I know it, I became the pathetic trainer.

When did money become my number one interest? Does the lifestyle of paying your own bills and expenses have to do with any of this? Or is it the monetary system as a whole that is responsible for exposing people to such behavior? What about you? Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve noticed how voluntary work can be more sincere?



I believe that our deeds determine our achievements and failures. Although the existence of divine providence, this has nothing to do with what we ought to achieve. So throwing the blame on God and circumstances for something we failed to achieve, denotes nothing but justifications, and this is something towards which I am highly sensitive. I can’t stand watching someone talk about divine decrees and circumstances as the reason for him not reaching his goal, no matter what this goal happens to be.

Though I do agree on something relative to that topic. Although divine decrees are a reflection of our intentions and deeds, they are always the best scenarios that could happen to us specifically, serving all our life’s aspects. So it is true that failing to reach a certain goal denotes deficiency in your preparation, but it also denotes that this goal wasn’t going to serve you as much as you thought.

Overview of the Past Year

General el-Sisi

On the 30th of June 2013, Egypt witnessed one of its most tremendous demonstrations against any ruler or government. General Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, one of the 19 Generals of the infamous SCAF, and who has been Commander-in-Chief of the Egyptian Armed Forces during the presidency of the former Egyptian president Mohammed Morsi, was moved by the massive protests, and decided to overthrow the rule of the Muslim Brotherhood by force, since they were not willing to cooperate with the demands of the people by any means necessary.

Back then, General el-Sisi declared that the SCAF did not have any intention other than to protect the country borders, and specifically mentioned that the military taking over the power once again wasn’t part of its plan. A statement which many people, including myself, took for granted, and only a few along with the MB started chanting ‘Down Down with the Military Rule’ right away.

Though the Muslim Brotherhood organization is not to be taken carelessly, it’s one of the most organized and widespread organizations in the Mideast, on which most of its official members rely religiously, financially, and without its significant presence on the surface, those members would suffer big time.

So the MB, along with those in favor of a religiously based country, started demonstrating all over Egypt, and finally chose Rabaa Mosque and its surroundings to be their ‘base’, where they started building camps and lecturing their spectators, holding on to a fine line of hope for Morsi’s government to return; i.e. The electoral legitimacy. But the decision was already made, MB leaders were taken into custody one by one, and the MB organization was gone to a point of no return inside Egypt. Its only residual remained around the Rabaa Mosque area for about 40 days, before being eventually evacuated by force.

After the evacuation took place, dozens of corpses were discovered, covered in white sheets around the Rabaa Mosque area. Some of which were burnt to a degree that makes them unidentifiable. Countless rumors were already spreading, some in favor of the MB, others in favor of the officials who ordered the evacuation. To this day, which side exactly was responsible for this genocide, is still unknown to the public.

Nevertheless, the MB was officially pronounced a terrorist organization by the Egyptian officials, something that rendered new internal conflicts between the Egyptians. Families were torn apart from the very inside out following this announcement. One mother reportedly turned her own son in to the police because he was a member of the MB.

The MB supporters, along with ordinary non-politically oriented people who were merely concerned about the return of a military rule in Egypt, started demonstrating and organizing marches. Some demonstrations were naive enough to demand the return of Mohammed Morsi to the presidency. Others were just demonstrating against the premeditated violence committed against civilians, journalists, and anyone daring to oppose the military coup.

Local media went back to its old habits of polishing the officials, specifically General Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, who was now seen as the savior who managed to free the Egyptians from radical Islam unto salvation. Regardless to el-Sisi’s dark past with Mubarak’s Regime and SCAF, he was suddenly held over shoulders, and was seen as the hero of this epoch.

The reputable Bassem Youssef, who played a huge role in overthrowing the MB, started criticizing these scenes on his satirical TV show Albernameg. He tried hard enough to direct the people to a non-idealizing mentality, one that refuses to create a new dictator, and one that is always anticipating hard work from the current regime towards achieving the goals of the revolution. But after the very first episode following the coup, his contract with the local media channel CBC was ended abruptly, which lead to him moving to a Saudi financed Egyptian channel MBC Masr. When his show continued to air on MBC Masr, he was then heavily criticized by the local media to the extent of being called an infiltrator.

Although el-Sisi was very clear about his and the military’s intention following the coup, that is being only concerned about the crimes committed in the name of religion and far from taking over the rule, he nominated himself for presidency. He, along with the local media, started utilizing the term ‘War on Terror’ in order to gain legitimacy for his actions, that included thousands of unjustified civilian and journalist arrests, not to mention the shooting and killing of protesters that has yet to be stopped.

Almost all youths of the Egyptian nation took the decision to boycott the presidential election, though their reasons slightly differed. Some saw that el-Sisi isn’t qualified to be president due to his lack of experience in the political world. Some simply saw that it wouldn’t be ethical to elect a president whose hands are stained with Egyptian blood. Others, who watched his interviews on local TV, saw how he thinks about serious problems that have been with the Egyptians for decades, such as unemployment, poverty and hunger, with such amateurishness. But most of all, many criticized his lack of concern towards having a presidential program, that he doesn’t seem willing to be obliged to have specific well known goals in his campaign.

Nevertheless, the elections took place but with an extremely low turnout, a turnout that was seen by almost everyone across the country, which made denying it rather difficult, even on the local media. Hence, the supreme electoral committee suddenly announced the second day of elections a national holiday. When that attempt failed to let people contribute, they decided to extend the elections to an extra day, with the local media heavily criticizing those who chose to boycott the elections, and warning them about a 500 Egyptian pounds (70 dollars) fine on everyone boycotting. With all these desperate attempts to let people go and vote, the incidence rate continued to be insignificant.

Surprisingly on the next day, all national news announced the winning of el-Sisi with 23 Million votes, an outcome that is significantly high compared to previous elections outcome that had all political parties contributing.

The Egyptians have been struggling with dictatorship for quite some time now. The transformation from dictatorship to democracy will need massive awareness, cure from denial, and eventually willingness to change. All those aspects are yet to be present among the Egyptians. We have to be aware of the huge degradation that has gotten into us due to the military dictatorship. Unfortunately, we are still divided. Some have already given up on the revolution, fearing to end up as Syria or Libya. Some think we do not deserve democracy, that we are barbaric and will kill each other when given the chance. Some truly believe that nothing other than a military rule can guide us to being a developed nation. Only a few still believe in change, and gladly they’re the youths, without whom nothing will ever continue to succeed.

May God be with us all


You only live once. Most of the people I know would argue with me for claiming such notion. Because most people who like to believe so, tend to fall in a path where they do whatever they wanna do, doesn’t matter good or bad, wasteful or useful. While the way I like to see it, is as if you’re in the woods, hunting for food for you and your family, with only one bullet left in your shotgun. And you have complete freedom of choice, whether to use this bullet wisely or carelessly. Similarly, we all have this one shot in life, with complete freedom over our actions. We can either fire this shot at our goal, or we could just fire it aimlessly. The choice is ours.

Life Goes On

Life goes on, shoving away anyone standing in its way, refusing to go on with it. Everyday we are forced to start over, regardless to how we feel. There is no pause button. There is no time to cry. Like a stampede, you either get to run with it, or you get stepped on.

I wanted to update you guys with my news and stuff, and was waiting for any good news to show up. But it turns out I will have to wait forever before something like that happens.

Since my last ‘Back on Track’ post, my grandfather’s condition deteriorated, he had to enter the ICU, and we had to travel back to Egypt to be near him. So my mom and I took a quick vacation and went back to check on him. We stayed there for about 12 days. The ICU visiting hours were 1:00 pm and 6:00 pm. Although he was always asleep and not aware of us around him, we went there on a daily basis, reading some prayers beside him, and hoped that the doctors would tell us good news.

The only good news that we received during this quick vacation, was that he was on the ventilator machine, and that now he’s finally breathing on his own without it.

So it was really tough, we’re all greatly depressed by what has happened to him. I know you guys here are wonderful people, and I’m sure that if I asked you to keep him in your thoughts and prayers you all would, and I’m totally sure that it would make a big difference, if God wills.

Moving on to my career plan, the last that you’ve heard from me was that I worked in this hospital, where they move lifeless bodies covered in white sheets, and keep critical machines, that patients rely on, not working. Well, thankfully, something else showed up lately.

A Communications Engineer here in Saudi Arabia got my CV, interviewed me on Skype, and is currently interested in meeting me face to face to arrange how we could start working with each other. So thankfully, right now, I am left with two options: Either I keep on working with those amateurs at the hospital, and continue losing my faith in humanity bit by bit. Or I could give it a try with this Communications Engineer, and see what I can do there.

In case you don’t already know, I took my bachelor degree in Communications Engineering. So working with this guy in this field would be very useful to my career, I think.

Anyway, I do hope that the best is yet to come. I’m terribly sorry if I’m not following up much with all of you, I do owe you an apology.

On a side note, I would love to know why I don’t see RCC posts anymore. I sure hope everyone is motivated enough, one way or another, to keep on living his/her dream.

Thank you for reading, I love you all <3


Back on Track

I know I haven’t been active allot lately. Things have been really sick literally and emotionally. I’m currently trying to have the grasp I had on my life before, while being active with my goals. I think I need to rewrite my goals, lots of changes have been happening, maybe If I stick with one goal at a time, or maybe working on some on a weekly basis would be okay.

Tomorrow I will go back to work, start over, and see what karma has for me in the next days.

Thank you for reading, you are all awesome, and I miss all of you :)

Rome Crew Weekly Update #2

Hello hello fellow members of the crew! How’s it going with all of you? Always know that you are all very inspiring to me personally. Seeing people striving to do their best, bit by bit, getting closer to their goals, always has an adrenaline effect that pushes me towards my own goals. So, just wanted to let you know that you all rock, rule, and play a significant role in the society. Please don’t stop doing what you’re doing :)

Okay, time for some updates from our magnificent crew members:

John got nominated for the Best Moment Award, and shared with us an amazing acceptance speech, you gotta check it out here! – He also shared Elmore Leonard’s ten rules of writing, out of which I found some very interesting and useful. Make sure you check it out too here!

Every Wednesday, Kira hosts an amazing prompt on her blog that inspires all of us to be creative. I’m sure you’ll love it, here is this week’s prompt!

Pam was having some self-talk about her goals, and I personally thought she was being a little too hard on herself. Go visit her post here and tell her what you think!

Tracey did some minor inventory about what she think she lacks in writing. She actually got us all working on our writing skills too! For all the writers out there, you have some studying to do. No it’s not that boring if you already love writing :) Et voilà!

Am I the only one who gets inspired by how neat this guy’s thoughts are? I always get that feeling of “everything is in it’s right place” when I take a glimpse at the inside of his head! Check out Charles Yallowitz’s post here!

And of course, it’s always inspiring to read Brad’s daily RCC posts, and how he, most of the time, manages to conquer the negative voices inside his head, and be able to do such an impressive work, day by day. Don’t stop Brad, we’re almost there! Check his yesterday’s post here!

Okay folks! Don’t forget to tag your posts with ‘RCC’ to make sure they’re included in our updates. Visit this link to know more about the Rome Construction Crew and what this is all about!

Keep on going, follow your bliss!


Rome Crew Weekly Update #1

Greetings fellow bloggers! I’ve missed you all like hell !! It has been a very busy week at work, I barely opened my reader, and when I did, it kept freezing on me!

In this week’s report, we have some very interesting news. First of all, the RCC tag is used by several RCCless bloggers. Turns out RCC is a photo program, as well as a Riverside City College, and Religion Communicators Council. How cool is that?!

But those things have nothing to do with our RCC. We are the rather more interesting, more cool, more productive kind of RCC. We build cities, write literature, work out, play music, and utilize our enthusiasm in every way possible. We are the Green Embers Rome Construction Crew!

Okay! Time for some updates from our awesome crew members:

Pamela has succeeded in achieving one of her RCC goals, go cheer her on and congratulate her on her recent milestone here!

Beth did an awesome review of what she did, is doing, and should be doing for the rest of her week. Go check it out here!

And of course, the man behind this whole awesome idea, keeps moving forward regardless to how the rest of the crew is handling their own goals. Go check out Green Embers for daily updates about his goals!

He also has created a page exclusively for the members! Don’t forget to have a look here!

Okay members! Please allow me to introduce to you our brand new members! :)

Annabel Lee @


Sarah M. Cradit @

Hello Hello Hello and welcome to the show :)

Alright fellows, keep us updated with your progress, and don’t forget to tag your posts with ‘RCC’ to make sure they’re included in our updates!


My Dreams vs My Route

I am a strong endorser of following your dreams wherever they take you. I believe life isn’t worth living if you’re living it just to do as you are told, not having a chance to look for that specific purpose of your existence in this world.

Lots of people regret wasting their whole lives in doing what they don’t like, instead of just chasing their dreams. It might be difficult to do so when you have people around you pushing you towards what you don’t want. For example, some of today’s parents force their children into becoming just like them, instead of having the slightest idea of what their children would want to become.

Talking about myself, I stepped into the Engineering major by absolute fate. Most of my family members are doctors, and most of them wanted me to become a doctor too, regardless to what I wish myself to become. But الحمد لله fate had its role in excluding faculty of medicine from my future studies, but it also included something that I had never fantasized myself into being, Engineering!

When the results were shown and the “unfair” assortments of students’ destinies were revealed, it became clear to everyone that Engineering was the only possible major for me to attend that has a good reputation suitable for our families’.

So I began taking calls from my relatives congratulating me for the tremendous achievement that I have done, giving me advices to which specific Engineering major should I master. To tell you the truth I was amazed by what a wealthy person has over a non wealthy one. Because I attended American Diploma that costs much more than the National System, it provides better chances into entering which branch or faculty you desire than those possible through the National one. So that’s how fate really played its role during my choices.

As I started to attend my lectures, I slowly began to convince myself that this was what I am supposed to do. Of course not all students who enter any faculty pass, because not all of them are meant to be in their specific faculty. Its a vicious circle that brings you back to following what you believe you do best, and not what the people around you are believing about you.

You might be swimming with the flow, you might be swimming against it. You might be comfortable in one way only, or both ways. One way or another, this moment of clarity between yourself is crucial. If you find it too late for yourself, which I regularly doubt, then at least don’t let your loved ones or children stumble upon your exact same pits.

I hope that everyone exerts as much effort as possible to find out what he was born to do, without any constraints to do anything reversely.

May Allah be with us all..