The Pathetic Trainer

It’s been almost six months since I started this new job at the maternity hospital. So much to tell, with so little time available. It is this fact, the lack of time available for reading/writing/having fun, that is haunting me. I’m afraid I’m turning into a character I’ve been despising for years, that is, an individual running on money, just like how a car runs on gas.

It’s surprisingly thought provoking when I recall the time I used to work in Biomedical Engineering, going hand in hand with this trainer whose morals were curiously questioned, and the overflowing enthusiasm I had back then. Back then, I always wanted to do the best I can, learn the best I can, and help as many people as I can. And here comes the funny part: I did not take a single penny. I somehow had the power and will to work overtime, help this and help that, all for the sake of, what exactly? I don’t know. Professionalism maybe? Conscience? Good will?

But that doesn’t matter. What matters is the powerful dedication that I had during these months as a Biomedical Engineer, that came to fade the moment I started working in return for a salary. Something happened, deep down inside, the moment I received my first salary in my hands from our financial manager. What happened exactly? I have no idea, but I have some clues to work on.

My dedication for work began to change its skin, little by little, gradually turning into a dedication for money. I’ve become motivated to do this and do that only if a material return is promised. The thought of helping someone with a job is slowly being haunted by the thought:

If you're good at something, never do it for free!

My interest in doing the things that I love is deliberately coming to a halt. I rarely play my guitar nowadays, I never open my reader to read what my fellow bloggers have to say. Even Facebook, the one tool that I use to interact with my old school friends, is being affected and slowly becoming an occasional thing.

All of a sudden, I find myself in this trainer’s shoes. I remember the times he used to rest, counting remaining hours/minutes/seconds to go home with a day’s money he did not work for. All I thought of back then was; What is wrong with this guy? Why is he acting so pathetically, carelessly not worrying about his duties, and just waiting for the end of the month to receive his salary? And before I know it, I became the pathetic trainer.

When did money become my number one interest? Does the lifestyle of paying your own bills and expenses have to do with any of this? Or is it the monetary system as a whole that is responsible for exposing people to such behavior? What about you? Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve noticed how voluntary work can be more sincere?

 

Life Goes On

Life goes on, shoving away anyone standing in its way, refusing to go on with it. Everyday we are forced to start over, regardless to how we feel. There is no pause button. There is no time to cry. Like a stampede, you either get to run with it, or you get stepped on.

I wanted to update you guys with my news and stuff, and was waiting for any good news to show up. But it turns out I will have to wait forever before something like that happens.

Since my last ‘Back on Track’ post, my grandfather’s condition deteriorated, he had to enter the ICU, and we had to travel back to Egypt to be near him. So my mom and I took a quick vacation and went back to check on him. We stayed there for about 12 days. The ICU visiting hours were 1:00 pm and 6:00 pm. Although he was always asleep and not aware of us around him, we went there on a daily basis, reading some prayers beside him, and hoped that the doctors would tell us good news.

The only good news that we received during this quick vacation, was that he was on the ventilator machine, and that now he’s finally breathing on his own without it.

So it was really tough, we’re all greatly depressed by what has happened to him. I know you guys here are wonderful people, and I’m sure that if I asked you to keep him in your thoughts and prayers you all would, and I’m totally sure that it would make a big difference, if God wills.

Moving on to my career plan, the last that you’ve heard from me was that I worked in this hospital, where they move lifeless bodies covered in white sheets, and keep critical machines, that patients rely on, not working. Well, thankfully, something else showed up lately.

A Communications Engineer here in Saudi Arabia got my CV, interviewed me on Skype, and is currently interested in meeting me face to face to arrange how we could start working with each other. So thankfully, right now, I am left with two options: Either I keep on working with those amateurs at the hospital, and continue losing my faith in humanity bit by bit. Or I could give it a try with this Communications Engineer, and see what I can do there.

In case you don’t already know, I took my bachelor degree in Communications Engineering. So working with this guy in this field would be very useful to my career, I think.

Anyway, I do hope that the best is yet to come. I’m terribly sorry if I’m not following up much with all of you, I do owe you an apology.

On a side note, I would love to know why I don’t see RCC posts anymore. I sure hope everyone is motivated enough, one way or another, to keep on living his/her dream.

Thank you for reading, I love you all <3

Peace

Good News

After a long tough road full of obstacles and difficulties, I finally reach my destination, sort of. I finally started training for a job two days ago! I mean yaay! right? Yeah I guess so, at least I’m spending the next month or so getting ready to start a job, instead of searching for one, and for that I am thankful.

It’s surprising to see God putting certain kinds of people in your way, facilitating everything for you the way you want it. Well not exactly the way my greedy self wants it, but it definitely turned out much easier than I expected. Lets just hope for the best, as I still have a loooong way of goals and dreams to accomplish. Or as Robert Frost used to say: “The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.”

I’m so happy I got to know a variety of bloggers, who helped me allot realize the meaning of unconditional love, support, that I am not alone, and that we can be so close to each other no matter how far we are on the map.

I woke up yesterday morning and realized I was nominated by the amazing Kira for the versatile blogger award! That was another yaay! moment for me :) Thank you so much for your generosity. Although I am a new follower of your blog, but I already fell in love with your posts, frankly speaking. I’m not saying so to return you a favor, I really fell in love with them! I wish you continued success in wrestling life while inspiring all of us around you.

I know I have a part to do in this award nomination, I will do my best to cover it. My spare time actually has shrunk allot, as well as my energy. I wake up so early in the morning and do allot of physical effort during work, may consider it part of the weekly exercise! By the time I return home, I have enough energy to do nothing but carry myself toward the bed. Maybe because I’m still at the beginning, maybe I’ll get used to it, or maybe this physical effort will decrease in time. I’ll do my best and hope for it.

Thank you comrades!

May Allah be with us all

Peace

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My Dreams vs My Route

I am a strong endorser of following your dreams wherever they take you. I believe life isn’t worth living if you’re living it just to do as you are told, not having a chance to look for that specific purpose of your existence in this world.

Lots of people regret wasting their whole lives in doing what they don’t like, instead of just chasing their dreams. It might be difficult to do so when you have people around you pushing you towards what you don’t want. For example, some of today’s parents force their children into becoming just like them, instead of having the slightest idea of what their children would want to become.

Talking about myself, I stepped into the Engineering major by absolute fate. Most of my family members are doctors, and most of them wanted me to become a doctor too, regardless to what I wish myself to become. But الحمد لله fate had its role in excluding faculty of medicine from my future studies, but it also included something that I had never fantasized myself into being, Engineering!

When the results were shown and the “unfair” assortments of students’ destinies were revealed, it became clear to everyone that Engineering was the only possible major for me to attend that has a good reputation suitable for our families’.

So I began taking calls from my relatives congratulating me for the tremendous achievement that I have done, giving me advices to which specific Engineering major should I master. To tell you the truth I was amazed by what a wealthy person has over a non wealthy one. Because I attended American Diploma that costs much more than the National System, it provides better chances into entering which branch or faculty you desire than those possible through the National one. So that’s how fate really played its role during my choices.

As I started to attend my lectures, I slowly began to convince myself that this was what I am supposed to do. Of course not all students who enter any faculty pass, because not all of them are meant to be in their specific faculty. Its a vicious circle that brings you back to following what you believe you do best, and not what the people around you are believing about you.

You might be swimming with the flow, you might be swimming against it. You might be comfortable in one way only, or both ways. One way or another, this moment of clarity between yourself is crucial. If you find it too late for yourself, which I regularly doubt, then at least don’t let your loved ones or children stumble upon your exact same pits.

I hope that everyone exerts as much effort as possible to find out what he was born to do, without any constraints to do anything reversely.

May Allah be with us all..

Peace